UH, NO, YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER !

  • 09/03/2017
  •  Jean Forteroche

Dad didn't leave… When he comes back from the store, he's going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. D'oh. But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life. You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing? Thank you, steal again. But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life.

Save me, Jeebus.

I was saying "Boo-urns." Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

  1. Thank you, steal again.
  2. I hope I didn't brain my damage.
  3. But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life.

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. Here's to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life's problems. Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer?

  • Please do not offer my god a peanut.
  • Get ready, skanks! It's time for the truth train!
  • I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

"Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion. They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.

Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? I was saying "Boo-urns." I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. Please do not offer my god a peanut. What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

He didn't give you gay, did he? Did he?! I didn't get rich by signing checks. I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. I've had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children…

A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? Uh, no, they're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns."

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. Bart, with $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing? Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

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